The Real Reason Why Bran McCartney Quit Immigration

Wednesday 20th, July 2011 / 09:57 Published by

He was having the time of his life. Dressed in army fatigues and drunk with power, Bran McCartney was a big man, finally.  He would wake up early every morning so he could strut around Nassau barking orders and ripping unfortunate migrants from their homes.

Preying on the ignorance and racist tendencies of Haitian-hating Bahamians, McCartney was betting his political future on his grand-standing efforts to rid the nation of Haitians, despite any possible violations of human rights and an affront to decency.

Yes, he was a big man finally.

Unable to shine in the legal community, McCartney left the prestigious Harry B. Sands law firm and, using money that he allegedly extorted from Sands’ clients, he started his own legal boutique.  He ended up giving away free legal advice to the ill-informed, and many say the advice he gave was worth every penny they paid.

So, Bran turned to politics, one of the few jobs in the Bahamas where people with no brains and no talent can exist.

His first gig in tourism was unrewarding. He begged Prime Minister Hubert Ingraham to put him in charge of immigration, realizing that tourism was in the doldrums and whoever was in charge of that would go nowhere.  He didn’t want to end up like Vincent Vanderpool-Wallace and Vernice Walkine, who have been blamed for falling tourism stats that, due to a global recession, they really have no control over.

No, Bran wanted power and a place where he could really shine.

Nothing like dragging poor destitute migrants from their homes late at night, to thunderous applause from overly nationalist racists on local TV, to get your blood pumping.

Bran was in the news nearly every night. He was the darling of the xenophobes.

Fortunately, Prime Minister Ingraham sensed there was something wrong with this guy. Bran had looked so promising but was fast turning into a liability. Votes are important to any politician but to Mr Ingraham  doing the “right thing” has always trumped politics. (Remember the 2002 referendum?) Thinking maybe Bran was just being a bit zealous, Ingraham didn’t fire him, he just tried to calm the little showboat down a bit.

But McCartney would have none of that. If he couldn’t grand-stand and shine like a floodlight he would exit stage left, like a spoiled child who takes his ball and goes home because the other children won’t let him be captain of the team.

But what’s a pretty boy to do?  Out of a job and suddenly realizing that he had just committed political suicide, Bran did the next best thing… formed his own party.

Despite all the press, things aren’t really going that well for Bran and his merry band of misfits.  So he is immaturely attacking anyone he can, proving that he is simply not ready for prime time politics and making many wonder if he ever will be.

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