{"id":16306,"date":"2011-12-16T09:51:22","date_gmt":"2011-12-16T14:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/?p=16306"},"modified":"2011-12-16T09:51:22","modified_gmt":"2011-12-16T14:51:22","slug":"power-101-by-ian-g-strachan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/2011\/12\/power-101-by-ian-g-strachan","title":{"rendered":"Power 101 by Ian G. Strachan"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Ian
Ian G. Strachan<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

What do you need to do to get power in BaHAMaland?\u00a0 Let\u2019s run down this list quickly for those of you who don\u2019t know and are trying to figure out the science.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have the heart or stomach for this game, stay out and join become a volunteer somewhere instead.<\/p>\n

Clothes and Colors<\/strong><\/p>\n

No matter what kind of power you are aiming for, you need to look the part.\u00a0 You have to get it right.\u00a0 To win an election, it\u2019s smart casual for televised press conferences, and sporty golf shirts with the party logo for rallies and door to door campaigning.\u00a0\u00a0 Stay clear of the three piece pin striped suit, it\u2019s a bit much.<\/p>\n

Now as for the people, they love free things, including clothes.\u00a0 Make the colors bright.\u00a0 Like children, the voters are drawn to bright colors.\u00a0 Yellow and red are strong; they exude success, virility.\u00a0 People like to fit in; they want to be on the winning team, the t-shirts and hats give them that \u201call a we is one\u201d feeling.\u00a0 Besides, this is a carnival culture.\u00a0 Buy the people t-shirts, streamers and pompoms.\u00a0 And then watch them put on their costumes and wild out.<\/p>\n

Scandals<\/strong><\/p>\n

You need to destroy the character and reputation of your enemies.\u00a0 You better do it and don\u2019t be squeamish because your enemy\u2019s doing it to you as we speak.\u00a0 The best way is to set up a blog or website with an \u201canonymous\u201d author who can spread the vicious rumors while you stay clear of lawsuits.\u00a0 But you will have to dog your adversary out while going door to door as well.<\/p>\n

Now when he scandalizes you back, don\u2019t panic. If it\u2019s sweet hearting or stealing money he pins on you, you\u2019ll be ok.\u00a0\u00a0 Scandals ironically help voters feel superior to you; it gives them the opportunity to \u201cdo you a favor\u201d by overlooking your indiscretion and voting for you any way.\u00a0 The appropriate response is to humbly praise and thank the people of your \u201cgreat\u201d constituency for allowing you to serve.<\/p>\n

Lies<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it, people hate the truth.\u00a0 We already know the truth and we don\u2019t want you to tell it to us.\u00a0 When we want the truth we\u2019ll talk to each other, thank you very much.\u00a0 We want to hear some b*llsh&t\u00a0 from you.\u00a0 Tell us everything is going to be wonderful once you\u2019re in charge.<\/p>\n

Now, you can avoid lying for as long as possible by simply not answering questions properly.\u00a0 Evasion, circumlocution, distraction, use em all. But eventually, inevitably, you will have to say \u201cyou don\u2019t know\u201d when you know, \u201cyou don\u2019t have information\u201d that you have, and \u201cyou\u2019ll look into something\u201d you won\u2019t look into.\u00a0 Besides, lying also keeps your enemies of guard.\u00a0 Tell them A and do B.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s a fundamental strategy when dealing with people you need to out maneuver, keep off balance or catch by surprise.<\/p>\n

Bribes<\/strong><\/p>\n

Elections are like Christmas.\u00a0 Everybody wants a present, no matter how small.\u00a0 If you want to gain power you must be prepared to give as well as to receive.\u00a0 A 50 here, a yard there, a washing machine here, a light bill there.\u00a0 Just be smart about it and spend someone else\u2019s money, not your own.<\/p>\n

Roads<\/strong><\/p>\n

Freshly paved roads make me feel happy, and I am not the only one.\u00a0 When you live on a rock and the traffic is bumper to bumper in all four directions from sun up to sun down, Monday through Friday, you don\u2019t then want to drop 5 feet deep into a pothole and break off your front fender.\u00a0 That will just make you bitter beyond words.\u00a0 So yes, please pave the roads.<\/p>\n

Jobs<\/strong><\/p>\n

You ain\u2019t serious about getting elected if you can\u2019t do some major hiring a month or two before election.\u00a0 If you\u2019re in opposition, all you can do is promise.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 But you better promise.<\/p>\n

Credibility<\/strong><\/p>\n

The cool thing about credibility is that you don\u2019t actually have to be the credible one.\u00a0 You just need someone credible trailing around with you.\u00a0 A credible person is like someone with a highly contagious disease, you will \u201ccatch\u201d some of their trustworthiness if you hang around them long enough.\u00a0\u00a0 It has to be someone that ranks really high in the respect polls, particularly if you have had a number of scandals, or if you are not very well liked, otherwise the association will have the complete opposite effect.\u00a0 Next thing you know a previously credible person suddenly has a shot through reputation, and you have gained nothing.<\/p>\n

Poppy Show<\/strong><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let pride stop you from making a poppy show of yourself and the entire campaign.\u00a0 Poppy shows have high entertainment value and Bahamians like a good show.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t put on a show you need to go home or step aside and let someone else lead.\u00a0 With the thousands gathered, with the television cameras trained on you, with 100,000 souls sitting in their living rooms longing from the golden light that will drop from your mouth, with the fate of the nation hanging in the balance, this is when it\u2019s time to . . . dance like it\u2019s New Year\u2019s Eve night on Bay Street; pull out a funny ole hat and talk some nonsense about Obeah; pull out some boxing gloves and practice the Rope a Dope; recite the lines of some popular calypso or concoct a little slogan.\u00a0 Whatever it takes.\u00a0 Make the herd laugh.\u00a0 Poppy show.<\/p>\n

From Ian G. Strachan’s “East Street Blues” column that appears every Thursday in The Nassau Guardian<\/a>. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you need to do to get power in BaHAMaland? Let\u2019s run down this list quickly for those of you who don\u2019t know and are trying to figure out the science.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":58,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10223285771444175_51037792744":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/58"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16306\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bahamasb2b.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}