Noted psychiatrist Dr. David Allen is calling for domestic violence to be considered a crime against the state, a tactic he feels would prevent women from withdrawing charges against their abusers.
“In this case, once it’s reported to the police, a woman cannot take the charge away,” Dr Allen explained.
“But day by day, women are doing just that and by the fifth time, they are dead.”
Last year, almost 50 percent of the country’s murders involved persons who presumably loved each other, Dr Allen told reporters at the official opening of the Royal Bahamas Police Force’s two-day domestic violence and conflict resolution seminar at the Wyndham Nassau Resort.
He said it almost seemed as if falling in love meant that there was a 50 percent chance of getting killed.
Last October, 34-year-old Ruthmae Pinder was brutally gunned down at a bus stop on Farrington Road, in front of her two daughters. Her ex-boyfriend, Angelo “Nasty” Brennen, was last month sentenced to death for her murder.
A similar event played out for softball superstar Jackie Moxey, who was allegedly beaten to death by her male friend. Forty-four-year-old Ian Hutchinson has been charged with the crime.
Dr. Allen stressed that there is a clear-cut difference between male and female domestic abusers.
“Men tend to kill when they perceive the threat of separation or actual separation. In The Bahamas, we don’t stalk like they do in the United (States),” Dr. Allen explained.
“We stalk by coming on the job. If your ex-husband or lover comes on the job more than four times a day, that is stalking. If he calls you more than 10 times a day that is stalking. Stalkers will eventually kill or maim. Women on the other hand really don’t want to kill a man, but maim him for life. The problem is there is a very thin difference between maiming for life and killing. They tend to kill you when you go to sleep by stabbing you. That is why I tell men to always sleep with one eye open these days. Women kill because of jealousy because they feel their man is cheating on them.”
But Dr. Allen noted that while women typically calm down, men only do so after killing.
“When a man’s tension builds up, they find it very difficult to self soothe and what happens in The Bahamas is that when men get angry, their blood pressure and heart rate goes up. And we now know that when your pulse goes 10 percent above normal when you’re angry, you IQ goes down 30 points,” he explained.
“Men self soothe by going to the bar. The latest thing is a beer plus marijuana and that takes away the inhibitions, and so now you have a man whose IQ is down, inhibitions are gone and he’s going home now to the person who made him angry.”
The seminar, hosted by Dr. Allen, is aimed at further training police officers in the area of domestic violence and conflict resolution. Dr. Allen will share real life cases with officers during the two-day seminar.
Dr. Allen also stressed that when a woman is battered, her child is also.
“The saddest thing about this is that this really destroys the children,” he said “An abused child grows up to be an abuser.”
But this is not to say that he is against corporal punishment, said Dr Allen, adding that there is a way to discipline a child.
“Studies show that when you go to discipline your child, you should not be angry. The worst time for parents is when they come home from work. At the end of the day, your body and soul are separated. But what happens is instead of bringing the love, the belt comes out first – which is very important,” he said.
“But, what happens in The Bahamas is that a lot of us were disciplined (or beaten) when our parents were angry. When this happens, this is not discipline but abuse. Parents need to unhook the anger. “
Officially opening the seminar, Assistant Commissioner of Police with responsibility for Management Services, Reuben Smith, reminded officers that they have an important role to play in tackling the issue of domestic violence. He reminded them to remain alert for the signs, like unexplained scars and bruises, alienation, anger, fear, and in many instances, control and manipulation of victims.
“Whenever you see these indicators, be prepared to give advice, assist both the victim and the abuser in finding someone with whom to talk. And if all else fails, then encourage the victim to seek the protection of the court or move away from the abuser,” Mr. Smith said.
“I urge you to urge persons to be reconciled in other ways, like compromising, counselling, negotiating and cooling off periods. Bahamians are known as a peaceful, loving Christian people that are giving. Let us ensure that we remain that way.”
Officials say that on a weekly basis, police respond to between 15 and 20 reports of domestic abuse.
According to Assistant Superintendent Elaine Sands, of the country’s 48 murders to date, an estimated 10 were the result of domestic violence. And this, she said, is cause for serious concern.
The youngest victims of abuse are high school students between the ages 16 and 18. Some of them are abused by their parents while others are victims of violent relationships.
ASP Sands admitted that the biggest challenge in addressing the problem is victims coming forward.
“They need to realise that domestic violence is a crime and that it not okay,” she told The Bahama Journal.
“But a number of victims have been coming forward and that includes males. We find that they are mainly emotionally abused. Some of them are saying that they feel that they might commit suicide or they might kill their mate, so they come forward seeking help and it’s all because of our efforts in sensitising members of the public as to the dynamics of domestic violence.”
By: Macushla N. Pinder, The Bahama Journal
